How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize