So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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