My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?