Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.