Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?