dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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