If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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