Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
