He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize