considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
