Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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