Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
