That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize