I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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