Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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