Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
