Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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