she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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