I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
