Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
