oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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