I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
