so explain again why im purple
no
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
