We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just had sex on a roof
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
