Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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