Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
