Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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