So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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