The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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