I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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