She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
