I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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