I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
