Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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