he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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