Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
