What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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