have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
