Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
