I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
