Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
