he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
