i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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