i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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