i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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