pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
