So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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