it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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