There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
