i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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