I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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