it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
