So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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