Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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