Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
