you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
