im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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