it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
