alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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