Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
