my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
