Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
