Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
