Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
