you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
