im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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