Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
