It's just like the Real World with babies
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
