There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drunk is not a location!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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