i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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